Why am I speed-dating my child's teacher? (Parent-Teacher Conferences)

We usually think of the parent-teacher conference as a chance to ask the teacher, “how is my child doing?” And that is an important question. But we also have information to offer about how our child is doing, what his or her strengths and weaknesses are, concerns we have. So the conference is a chance for both parent and teacher to learn something about how best to support your child.

But you only have 15 or so minutes!
To make the most of this time, it’s important to come prepared and also to think about anything that needs to be followed up afterward. Keep in mind that this “speed-date” is not the only chance you have to communicate. But this is a chance to put faces to names and have a two-way communication in real time, setting the tone for a positive working relationship with your child’s teacher. 

Before the Conference
Gather what information you already have about what and how your child is doing (Canvas, materials from Back-to-School night, Parent Portal) – do you have questions?  

The other source of information we have going in is whatever we have observed at home (or on the way home from school): does your child seem happy with the way things are going at school? Anxious? Bored? Are they struggling or taking longer than seems reasonable to complete homework? If there’s anything that stands out to you, make a note to remember to mention it.

Parents and teachers observe the same child in different settings and through different lenses. Sharing those observations can lead to helpful insights about how best to support your child’s learning and social-emotional growth.

During the Conference

A conference is not a judgment! The point is for teacher and parent to share and increase each other’s understanding of the child’s strengths and needs as a learner. So while it might be nice to hear that Marcus is “good at math,” it’s more useful to learn that he is “good at asking questions” or “gets the right answers but needs to learn to show his work.”

If your child has any particular gaps (skills, standards), you will want to know, What is the teacher doing to accelerate/fill those gaps, and what can I do as a parent to support that? Similarly, if your child is ready to work at a more advanced level in some area, how is the teacher differentiating instruction to keep them engaged/challenged?

Being face-to-face is an opportunity for parent and teacher to understand each other, so don’t hesitate to ask if the teacher uses a term you don’t know or understand.

Wrapping up — and planning ahead
Conclude the conference with clear take-aways. It may just be “keep up the good work!” but if there are issues that have been raised, be clear about next steps. What strategies does the teacher recommend? What requests or suggestions has the parent made for the teacher? What resources can the parent access?

Be specific about next steps — who will do what — and how will you and the teacher will follow up or when will you check in again to see how it’s working? If there are next steps, it’s a great idea to write an email summarizing your understanding of who has committed to do what.

Although it may feel a bit like speed-dating, the fall parent-teacher conference is a chance to establish a good basis for ongoing communication as needed with your child’s teacher.